Is it true, am I really done with Clevegas?

This is still the place I come, this small solace that i created almost 4 years ago, still the place i falter for words, trying to type what my mind doesn't know yet.

It's over, this whole big, "lee university experience" is over. I leave in 2 weeks (less than) and I graduated 2 weeks ago. and that's it...4 years of...whatever...nights of doing homework instead of going out, worrying about the sanity of the girls around me, struggling to have a healthy relationship in the land of MRS-seekers, balancing boy, friends, job, school...and I walked across the stage (how clichéd) and looked Dr. Conn in the eye and said "thank you SO much" and i meant every syllable, the only 4 i had spoken to him, the reason for my college education-or so they'd have me believe. But through retrospectives as choppy as the Friends' pre-finale show, I see that he had nothing to do with it, I had everything to do with it...every skipped class, every scholarship semesterly won or lost, every kiss on campus, every late-night movie, THAT was it, that was my "Lee experience": the propasal in Johnson City, the drive (380 miles) 'home' and back...

All that and here I am, back on campus, the only internet connection available to me. All that, the emotions, the studying, the silliness...I feel older, but not...closer to some elusive...future.

Ya know?

- on 2004-05-20 at 2:59 p.m.

wilted - blooming