and the countdown begins...

Mes chèrs...

I don't know why it's taken me so long to say that I am overwhelmed. Between worrying about my health, my future, my wedding, my marriage, my mental health and my classes I can hardly breathe or smile.

The return of my roomate from Cambridge is one reason for happiness and a temporary lift of the deadening fog of not knowing. as is my darling fiancé. as is my actual, day-to-day life...but I can't seem to hold on to my typically carpe diem philosophy-instead my minutes are filled with thoughts of the future: will I ever know what's going on? Will everything work out at the wedding? Will I still want to get married after the next several months of stress? Will we be able to pay bills-will we have jobs? Will we be happy? Will I ever feel better?

Maybe that's why I remain silent from mes écritures. It's too scary to put it all out there, to actually list all the fears....

- on 2004-04-07 at 7:24 p.m.

wilted - blooming